It Is Not Good For The Man To Be Alone…(Depression)
Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””
God who created the world perfectly without any mistake, declared that regardless of perfection, it is not a good idea for man to be alone. Loneliness is against God’s will. Lone rangers as a permanent way of life does not fit with God’s plan. God who sees the past, the present and the future in a perfect clear detail, concluded that, in His design of man, the worst will come out if he is alone, therefore to get the best out of any man, it is not good for a man to be alone! If this was true before sin when God declared it, how much more true is it today after sin? Indeed it is not good for man to be alone.
The focus on this passage is not which man, but loneliness. God rejects loneliness in His design of humanity. If man needs woman, then it means woman is empty and incomplete without man. If man needs a woman to help him, it therefore means a woman will be thirsty and desirous of a man to help. Man and woman cant be at their best without each other. Therefore it is true that both men and women are not designed for loneliness, they are designed for each other. This article will address this divine statement to both men and women, even though mentioning man. Therefore when God declares that it is not good for the man to be alone, He is referring to both men and women as unfit for loneliness. Unfit to operate alone. Unfit to live by ignoring others. It is not good for the man to be alone.
This passage has been wrongly narrowed down to only refer to the marriage institution. As if to suggest that loneliness is okay until the time of marriage. The time of marriage varies from place to place but is generally accepted to be an institution of adults, or those considered adults. Between when one becomes an adult and when one marries, is it good to be alone? Unless marriage has been wrongly made a synonym of sexual activity and therefore loneliness becomes abstinence from sex. Which makes God’s observation awkward and inconsistent with other scripture, that it is not good for man to be alone or to abstain? Therefore that thinking that this remark by God only targets the marriage institution, is narrow and may not consistently make sense. I wish to suggest that loneliness is a bad thing whether in relation to marriage or not. I wish to suggest that God was proscribing loneliness in all human activities.
We were designed by God not just to need a marriage spouse, but to also need friends, relatives, and even neighbours. It is not good for the man to be alone is a reference to our need for more than a marriage spouse. It is not good for the man to be alone is a reference to our need for friends, relatives and humanity around us. It is not good for the man to be alone is a formula that affects our entire life. It is not good for man or woman to face life, deal with life, alone. To do it alone is contrary to God’s will. It is not good for the man to be alone…
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “(9) Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. (10) For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! (11) Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? (12) And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
The wise man who wrote the book of Ecclesiastes emphasises and simplifies further God’s message. God’s message is that, it is not good for either man or woman to be alone. The wiseman’s message is that two are better than one. Company of a spouse, or friend, or neighbour or even relative is better than a lonely life. Ecclesiastes addresses both the company of a spouse and others in life. It is not just a marriage passage, it is a life passage. Two are better than one. Life is easier with company, not just married life but daily life. It is not good for the man to be alone…
Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.”
Man sharpens man. We need each other, in order to better each other. Iron cant sharpen itself, it needs another iron. Man sharpens man means only man can help man as per God’s design. We need each other. It is not good for the man to be alone…
No Man is an island
“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were. Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” – John Donne in Meditation XVII
Life alone is not possible nor ideal, it is frustrating. It is not good for the man to be alone… Depression is caused by loneliness in tackling life, among other known and unknown reasons. Lonely without God and hope. Lonely without human company and assurance. Lonely with no one we know who cares. Suicide and broken down life follows depression. Suicide without even notes are sharply increasing because the individuals are deeply convinced that no one cares and would even care to read the death note. Loneliness…
Depression is increasingly causing death. The more we succeed the more we become lonely as trappings of wealth and profession separate us from people. Success demands hours spent doing our work away from people and many times without God. That separation from God and people by our work, becomes the death of us via depression. We must restore God’s desired order of human and divine company for each person. Other than working and doing more work and having side hustles, we need an active involvement in divine company and human company. It is not good for the man or woman to be alone…
Life comes with challenges
Someone has said that no road is all smooth and no life is all rough. Therefore in this sinful life, challenges are bound to come. What do we do when we come across tough times in our lives? I want to suggest four things that should be done, all the time we meet challenges
3. Let go
When you cant accept a challenge or solve a challenge or let go a bad experience or share your fears, you first get stressed, then frustrated, then depressed and it is many times followed by an unannounced suicide. It is not good for the man to be alone…
Causes of depression are many, and many are unknown, but some we know
1. What we know like doing life alone without God and people, we prevent
2. When we see signs of depression we seek help
People at risk of depression include any of us, who could be
1. Facing or dealing with big issues in life (big varies from person to person)
2. Withdrawing from society even social groups
3. Out going and successful people who are quiet on certain aspects of their lives
4. Successful people who are continuously delivering good results at the expense of ourselves
It is not good for the man to be alone… As society advances, it also enhances loneliness. It is not good for the man to be alone…
To avoid possibility of depression which once it comes you lose control
1. Exercise it minimises stress
2. Get involved in things around, it distracts the mind from self consuming thoughts
3. Talk to someone, to friends, that relieves pressure of challenges
4. Be healthy so that you are not compounded with physical challenges amidst mental struggles
5. Avoid being idle, being idle turns the mind against itself
6. Be positive in attitude, in reading, in movies you watch, in songs you listen, and in people you entertain
7. Believe in God and His power to miraculously reverse any situation
It is not good for the man to be alone… Lets be tolerant of small issues troubling people. Small issues are not small to everyone. Strive to have social events for everyone and thus enhancing social bond that we badly need. Take a break from chasing money and grades and sit back and enjoy life, hence holidays and weekends. Don’t use nights, holidays and weekends to clear pending working, that is dangerously enslaving yourself. Holidays were designed for stopping work and enjoy divine and human company.
Don’t compete or compare – there will always be people above you and others below you in everything (Desiderata). Comparison with others puts undue pressure on you to be like others. That pressure leads to overworking, over commitment and no time for God or relatives, friends and neighbours. It is not good that the man should be alone… You should not be alone with work, and targets and goals all the time…Be with God and family and friends. It is not good for the man to be alone!
Moderate pressure on people to live perfect life. Don’t pressurise too much. Don’t pressurise people to marry. Don’t pressurise people to be like others. That pressure may sum up with other challenges of life and produce a serious issue at hand.
You can always begin again from any disaster and even do much better, and there are too many evidences around us. Complete failure and loss is not a death sentence but an opportunity to start again. You need to know and believe that with nothing but just God, you are bound for greater things and happy moments.
Some times entertain thoughts of what if I failed in this or that, how do I begin again. Sometimes entertain thoughts of any failure or loss you can experience. Opportunity favours a prepared mind and so does disaster get mitigated by a prepared mind. What if I was fired from work today? What if I lost my family today? What if i fail in school completely? What if my sponsor dies? A prepared mind is best! It is not good for the man to be alone…
Is Suicide Sin?
Suicide is when one takes their own life. To take your own life is to kill and that is sinful. Life belongs to God and it is sacred. But there are times where the one committing suicide is deep in depression that they don’t even know what they are doing. One moment they are happy and planning for coming events, next moment they have taken their own life. Such a person, I would suggest did not commit suicide, but succumbed to effects of mental illness, God may not treat them as sinners who took their own lives, but as people who acted in ignorance. Others out of anger, plan to take their own life, they announce it, they are persuaded otherwise but they don’t listen and eventually they succeed. Such people did kill themselves and were conscious of their actions, it is sin. People’s ultimate destiny is determined by God. Therefore even in suicide cases, we can never rule on a person’s fate. We only comfort the family and discourage society from choosing that path of addressing issues.
Suicide bombers are sinners. They kill themselves and even kill others. They have no instant reward in heaven as rumoured. It is a path of deception, a path to avoid.
The suicide we are addressing is the one caused by depression and depression caused by loneliness. No active God and human involvement. It is not good that the man should be alone…
Matthew 26:38 “Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.””
Luke 22:42-46 “(42) saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (43) And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. (44) And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (45) And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, 46()and he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”
At Gethsemane before arrest, torture and crucifixion, Jesus, none less than Jesus, needed social support in that trying moment. Jesus was 100 percent human and 100percent divine, and he needed human social support. He set an example for us, that in any crisis, we need divine and human support. Indeed, it is not good for man to be alone. Jesus received social and divine support. The angel gave divine support. The disciples gave weak unreliable social support. Jesus pleaded with disciples to grant Him support in prayer. Best social support are praying friends.
It is not good for the man or woman to be alone in facing day to day life issues. We were designed to need God and each other. If Jesus needed divine and social support, you need it too – do you agree?
May God be available for us all the time, and may we be available for each other, and may depression and suicide which is sin, never be mentioned amongst us again, in Jesus name, Amen!(c)firstname.lastname@example.org (do not delete any part of this post, including this. You are free to share these posts, but do not edit the authorship or content…thank you and be blessed!)